I said, pardon?

Only in the States...

So, I was checking out MSNBC.com the other day, and I came across a story about little Katurah Petty (your guess on the pronunciation of the name is as good as mine).

Anyway, her and her friend decide to go rob a Walmart.  Okay.  Walmart?  Sure.  Why not? So, what did they steal?  $271 worth of computer software.  Yeah.  Okay.  So what?  Why am I writing this?  Well...here's the kicker...

So...apparently...she was in LABOUR when she decided to rob the Walmart!!  I said, pardon?  Yeah, no joke!  She was fully in the process of delivering a baby when she stopped by the local Wally World.  I wonder if her water broke at the store itself?  If so, I hope they had some of those Caution: Slippery Floor signs handy.  Anyway, the lovely Katurah was charged with theft and forgery...as she was driven to the hospital.  The things that make me smile.

She named her son Robbery.  Friends call him Rob.

WTF? :O OMG. lol... :D

So I heard a crazy statistic the other day; the average teenager, age 13 to 17, now sends 3,339 texts per month. That's about 110 texts every day.

I'm way behind in the times!  I send maybe...MAYBE....twenty texts a day.  Who are they texting so often?  What are they texting about?  God forbid...are they sexting?  When I was that age, I wouldn't even have had a cellphone.  So, I thought, well, I'm not THAT much older then the age bracket of the study.  Am I?

I decided to go right to the source - my sibilings.

Sean asks, "Hey, how many texts do you send a day?"

Joe replies, "I don't know.  Maybe 50.  50 to 100.  I don't know."
If he says 50...than it's totally 100.

Sean asks, "What about your sister?"

Joe replies, "I don't know.  Probably the same."
WHAT?!?  This calls for further investigation.  Let me grab a pen and a pad.  No...not that pad.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Back to question at hand.

Sean asks, "So who do you text?"

Joe replies, "Friends and family.  Why?"

Sean replies, "Leave the questions to me please."

Joe responds with, "oh my God."
...or in texting, simply put - OMG.  See I'm still hip.  I'm still with it.

Sean asks, "What do you text about?"

Joe replies, "Things that are going on.  Movies.  Video games.  Stuff we're going to do.  Gossip."

I LOL (laughed out loud) and I had enough material for my next blog.  ...and here we are.  So, 110 a day.  I still find the number outstanding.  If I was 17 again, would I be sending 110 texts a day?  Would I pay for my cell phone myself?  Would my life be a mediocre movie staring Zac Efron and Matthew Perry?  ...I would hope not.

Anyway, the things that make you go hmmm.....  ;)

You can keep your 17 and 110.  I like my 20 texts a day life with, what some would call, its more traditional ways to gossip.

Gobble Gobble...

Where has Sean been?  Eating...that's where.  Thanksgiving week is now over.  My favourite time of year.  The one time every year, that I literally need to undo a button. 

This year was extra special because my second favourite brother came home.  I went to the airport, Saturday morning, to pick up Charlie.  No one knew he was coming home.  It was awesome!!  My grandma was the funniest!  She just kept saying, "Charlie...look it's Charlie". 

The food was amazing!  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, etc. etc. YUM!!

And no dinner is complete without ambrosia salad.  For those who don't know what that is, it's that salad with the dreamwhip and the fruit and the coconut and the mashmellows...yes....THAT salad.  Holy Cow.  I love it.  It seems to be a staple at every holiday meal and it's usually the salad that gets passed around the table, until it reaches me.  Then it finds a home. 

So, Charlie told me a little interesting fact.  Ambrosia means food of the gods.  I didn't argue that.  I find it quite heavenly.  Anyway, I decided to wikipedia it when I got home (surprise surprise).  Apparently it's "often depicted as conferring ageless immortality upon whoever consumes it."  Well...that would explain my youthful visage.  Also, it was said to be delivered to the gods by doves.  So, come Christmas time, I expect my ambrosia salad to be served to me, a la dove.

Hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving!!

Punctuation Saves Lives

"Let's eat Grandma"

vs.

"Let's eat, Grandma"



Why Fall is so Awesome!

I can't believe next weekend is Thanksgiving. Fall is my favourite time of year, hands down.  The weather, the food, the fun - so perfect!  Consider the lazy days of summer to be over. I find a lot of fall haters out there.  I guess the main reason people hate it, is because fall brings on the cold and the winter.  I think fall is awesome!  So awesome, that I've written down 91 reasons on why fall is so awesome - one for everyday of fall.

1. Pumpkin pie is awesome!
2. Wearing slippers again is awesome!
3. Trick or Treating is awesome!
4. The falling leaves are awesome!
5. Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's is awesome!
6. St. George Applefest is awesome!
7. Waterford Pumpkinfest is awesome!
8. Car seat warmers are awesome!
9. Finding the perfect Hallowe'en costume is awesome!
10. Turkey is awesome!
11. Running with long sleeves is awesome!
12. Holding a cup of hot coffee in your hands is awesome!
13. The changing colours on the trails are awesome!
14. Having a nice warm bed in the morning is awesome!
15. Geocaching is awesome!
16. Oktoberfest is awesome!
17. Breathing in the cool air is awesome!
18. Misty mornings are awesome!
19. Season premieres are awesome!
20. Early Christmas shopping is awesome!
21. Grandma's applepie with vanilla icecream is awesome!
22. Back to school is awesome!
23. The final BBQ of the season is awesome!
24. Comfortable hikes along the Grand are awesome!
25. Football is awesome!
26. Haunted houses are awesome!
27. Less busy amusement parks are awesome!
28. The Norfolk Fair is awesome!
29. No more bugs is awesome!
30. Putting on a nice sweater for the first time is awesome!
31. The Festival City Run is awesome!
32. Remembering our veterans is awesome!
33. Buying girl guide cookies is awesome!
34. Wearing socks again is awesome!
35. Eating soup again is awesome!
36. Listening to country music is awesome!
37. Biking is awesome!
38. Less traffic is awesome!
39. The Terry Fox Run is awesome!
40. Seeing deer (and other wildlife) on the trails is awesome!
41. Eating candy is awesome!
42. Drinking hot chocolate is awesome!
43. Getting caught in the cold rain and finding a warm place to dry is awesome!
44. Making tomato sauce for the entire year is awesome!
45. The wind is awesome!
46. Parades are awesome!
47. Pubcrawls are awesome!
48. Cross-country running is awesome!
49. Getting back to the gym is awesome!
50. The family getting together is awesome!
51. Getting lost in a cornstalk maze is awesome!
52. Carving jack-o-latterns is awesome!
53. Hot apple cider on the stove is awesome!
54. Using the vegetables from your garden to make delicious salsa is awesome!
55. Jumping in a pile of leaves is awesome!
56. Wearing a poppy is awesome!
57. Roadtrips are awesome!
58. Homemade pickles are awesome!
59. Mom's baked cookies are awesome!
60. Renewing magazine subscriptions is awesome!
61. The harvest is awesome!
62. Seeing a 'ghost' is awesome!
63. One last boat ride is awesome!
64. Different shaped guords are awesome!
65. Drinking a witch's brew is awesome!
66. Taking pictures in the fall is awesome!
67. The return of flannel is awesome!
68. The smell of chimneys is awesome!
69. The cold feeling on the tip of your nose is awesome!
70. The early dark nights are awesome!
71. The beach when it's cool is awesome!
72. Slow cooked meals are awesome!
73. Pyjamas are awesome!
74. The Run for the Grapes is awesome!
75. Watching a movie under the blankets is awesome!
76. Apple picking is awesome!
77. Finding the perfect pumpkin is awesome!
78. Bird watching is awesome!
79. Goodbye to mowing the lawn is awesome!
80. Scarecrows are awesome!
81. Food with squash is awesome!
82. The return of jeans is awesome!
83. Hayrides are awesome!
84. Riding a horse is awesome!
85. Fake bats are awesome!
86. The colours of fall are awesome!
87. Booking winter getaways is awesome!
88. Good times with great friends is awesome!
89. Working overtime and making lots of money is awesome!
90. The lack of sweat is awesome!
91. Making green tomato relish is awesome!

The Fight

Today marks the 19th annual Run for the Cure.  I take my hat off to all those who are participating today.  The run started in 1992 and has now become Canada's largest single-day, volunteer-led fundraising event dedicated to breast cancer research, education and awareness.  The event is now run in 56 communities across Canada.  Last year $26.5 million was raised!  That's truly incredible.  Hopefully this year brings similar success.

Breast cancer is cancer originating from the breast tissue.  Worldwide, breast cancer is the most common type of non-skin cancer in women and the fifth most common cause of cancer death.  The cancer will effect one in every eight females.  How many women and girls do you know?  More than eight, I'm thinking.  A woman dies every 13 minutes from breast cancer.  Cancer tarnishes families and tries to destroy friendships.  It always gets in the way and is never welcome.  I hate it. 

I hope this is the last Run for the Cure. 

I say that because I hope they find a cure from the bottom of my heart.  I hope that there's no need for this fundraising run every again.  But until that day, it is truly inspiring and uplifting to see that there are still so many caring people in the world that willing to fight - willing to fight for our moms, our aunts, our girlfriends and wives, our sisters, our teachers, our friends, our cousins, our grandmas, our daughters, our fathers and brothers and grandfathers, our neighbours, our coworkers, and everyone else this wicked disease has ever touched.

Breast cancer has no age restriction.  I urge all my family and friends to begin self-exams regularly.  The sooner it's found, the better the chance they can get 'what doesn't belong' out of there. 

Again, thank you to all the wonderful, amazing, caring people out there who ran today.  Your efforts are not overlooked.  Much respect and praise goes out to you.

The Movie Test

This math test will determine your favorite movie! 

This is pretty darn amazing!

So I did the quiz...and the result...Star Wars - my favourite movie! I'm kind of surprised. Don’t look at the movie list till you have done the math (it's more fun that way!)

Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.  Don’t ask me how it's done.  It is pretty awesome though!

Okay folks, so here's the test.  Grab a calculator if you must...

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5. Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies after the break.

Movie List:

1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story
Now, ain’t that something…..?

You're "bacon" me hungry!

haha...actually...if you're making me anything, it would be disgusted.  So, a dream of mine came true today.  Yes, they have finally made of sculpture of Kevin Bacon....out of bacon. 

I'm actually giggling as I type this.  haha.  It's so bizarre and gross and I LOVE it!!  The 'work of art' is called Bacon Kevin Bacon or simply BKB.  The artist, Mike Lahue, is selling this masterpiece on eBay.  The current bid is $510 (US).  A little much for me.  I guess the good thing here is that the proceeds go to charity.  Here's what the eBay profile page says about this pies de resistance:

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own the most delicious piece of Bacon-on-bacon themed pop art ever created.  Whether you are a fan of American film icon Kevin Bacon, animal protein art enthusiast or just a lover of bacon, the undisputed king of all meats - Bacon Kevin Bacon is a must have."

"Don’t worry, BKB has been well lacquered and will stay tasty for generations to come so stop listening to your inner-doubt, put in a bid and make every person you will ever know jealous of your legendarily epic greatness."

...."animal protein art enthusiast"?  LOL!  I wouldn't consider myself one...until today!  I guess the thing's not edible, which is a total downside.  The medium of choice - bacon and bacon bits, and you can't even take a nibble.  It makes me curious on how he got it all to stay together?  

So, the eBay page contiues to say, "Owning Bacon Kevin Bacon will automatically make you the coolest person you will ever know, a champion of the underground meat sculpture movement and honestly should really tie any room together nicely.  After all, bacon does make everything better."

'Coolest' person isn't even the word!  Here are some pics...enjoy!!  :)

Hurry!  Don't be disappointed.  7 days left to bid!  Don't let this opportunity go to waste!!